The Second Letter

I wrote you a letter. Another one. It was about many things. It started out with the basics: I miss you, how are you, I am doing well, etc.

But then I got sentimental and started talking fond memories of us making cheese and salami sandwiches and eating them by the side of Lake Whatcom. And watching the 4th of July fireworks from the roof of your office. And things of that sort. My favorite part was something along the lines of:

Remember how every night before bed I would kiss you three times? Once on the left cheek, once on the right cheek and then once on the lips? You used to say you couldn't sleep without your three kisses. It really did wonders for my ego, you know.

But then the unthinkable happened...your letter fell out of my jacket pocket as I ran across the street to deliver it to the mailbox. Hours of carefully chosen words and at least half the ink supply of a dime store fountain pen wasted. The unseasonable storm went and blew it to heck! To think that out there sits an illiterate sparrow with my perfectly worded re-counting of our first date lining his nest! It's a shame. So much for the lost art of letter writing. I'm going to cut my loses now and mail you this simple explanation before I risk tempting fate with another sappy flowery prosed spectacle.

So, dear:
Enjoy.
I miss you.
Think of what you could be reading.

Love,
Theodore.

Boys

The 4 boys took their places. The oldest one, Tim, stood on the highest part of the hill and yelled "damn it, Tommy, just stay the fuck still". Tommy's reply was "don't curse at me". He stood below Tim as the grass met the pavement. Tim looked over to Joe, the largest of the boys and said, "hold his hands behind his back".

Joe complied with the request and held Tommy's hands back. While he did this Tommy asked, "why are we doing this again?".

"To be on tv, butthole".
"Stop swearing"
"Butthole isn't a swear. You can say it on tv"
"I guess so"
"Now if you just hurry up and stay still then Ben can get a clear shot of when I kick you in the nuts"
"Why do I have to be the one to get kicked? Why don't you do it?"
"It's not funny if I get kicked. You are little and fat. It's funnier. Besides, you already agreed to do it already. Don't puss out now"
"Oh, alright. Let's just do it already. Dang!", Tommy huffed.

Tim added, "we don't want to hurt you, dude. Don't you want to be famous though? On tv?"

Tommy thought for a second and nodded, "yeah, ok. Let's just do it. Ok?"

Tommy then braced himself and grimaced. Ben hit the record button on the video camera borrowed from his older Brother in film school. "Wait!", said Ben, the defacto director, as he pressed the record button again. "Uh, cut, I mean".

"What?"
"You guys should move down the hill a bit. The angle here is funny"
"Oh, Jesus," said Tommy, "Ok, Spielberg"

Then they did it. Tommy took a breath and then Tim swung his foot into his groin. He fell to the ground as his friends laughed.

"Fuck you guys!"
"Oh, look who's swearing now"
"I'm going to tell my Mom"
"What the hell is she going to do?"
Tommy couldn't form any more words as the pain grew throughout his whole body. Ben helped him up after a few minutes and dusted the dirt off his back.

"So you said your Brother can help us put this on the internet?"
"Yeah, I think so"
"I hope people think it's funny"
"They should. Cause it is"

The Worst One

Underneath a graying sky on the first official day of Spring 18 boys gathered on a grassy hill to play baseball in the park. An assortment of friends and parents sat watching them and cheering them on. The Chase sisters also watched the game but from a much greater distance. They sat on a bench well behind the center fielder but they could make out the action well enough. They had only sat there to rest after a long walk through the park on the overcast Sunday afternoon. They had wandered into the park after a lovely brunch together and each girl was gearing up for the week ahead in their own way. Beverly, the oldest, was trying to squeeze out every last ounce of stress left from the previous week. This included drinking 2 mimosas with breakfast much to Judy's chagrin. Judy was the youngest sister and therefore the most naive. She was only 13 years old and didn't understand why anybody in the world would need chemicals or alcohol or nicotine or pills or any such sorted things. She herself was able to deal with her life without the aide of such business and so others should as well. Anne, the middle sister and the one with the most level head, politely understood both sides of the debate and dealt with both sisters admirably.

After a long bout of silence Judy broke it with "I feel like a lemonade. Pink lemonade. Doesn't that sound delightful, Anne?"

Beverly chimed in saying "You know, sugar is no different than alcohol".

"Yes, it is! Sugar doesn't make you slur your words and act all funny and people don't go to meetings to give it up!"

"It makes you bounce off the walls. It still affects your brain, dingus. Just in a different way"

"Oh! Shut up, Beverly. You're drunk!"

Beverly laughed at this and replied with "I am NOT!"

Anne had to giggle too.

"Your sister is fine, Judy. Don't be ridiculous"

Judy huffed and folded her arms dramatically. After a few seconds she sighed and said in a radically disinterested tone, "Well, I still feel like a lemonade".

All the girls shared a laugh after this and returned their attention back to the game.

Anne said, "Oh, now I've lost track of the score. Who is winning now?"

Beverly plainly replied with a simple "the ones in the uniforms".

It was true that only one team had real, true uniforms. The other team simply wore red t-shirts and blue jeans. One poor child couldn't even muster the resources to comply with this simple request and wore a white t-shirt. It made him stick out like a sore thumb. He wasn't the worst player though, at least not in the sisters' eyes. In fact, Judy was quite taken with the young man. This simultaneously delighted Anne and annoyed Beverly. Beverly thought the boy looked simple and stupid and that her charming little sister, however misguided, was way out of his league. She envisioned them going on dates together. She pictured him arriving to pick her up, sweating and stammering, for a night at the movies or dinner wearing a mismatched suit (assuming he could even acquire a suit of any sort) and bringing her the shabbiest daffodils in the history of daffodils. She kept all this to herself, of course. She smiled and patted her sister on the head as she sat and swooned over the boy. She thought "he's cute enough, I suppose and he's no worse than that poor boy at second base". "That poor boy" was the one Anne dubbed "the worst one". The player which thoroughly frustrated not only his teammates but even the most empathetic of spectators. His wild throws, missed catches, improper knowledge of the rules and general laziness aggravated everyone within a 1/2 mile radius of the field. Anne's heart went out to the poor child even as part of her was annoyed by the lag in game play his behavior caused. Her attitude was decidedly more positive than her sisters' though. They hated the boy. They didn't go so far as to say it outloud but it was clear as day through their body language and facial expressions.

"Come on. Let's go home", said Beverly without a hint of it being a question.
"Why?"
"It's getting late and it looks like it might rain soon. And I want to take a nap before this god awful weekend is over".
"Oh, alright"

They rose slowly but surely and wandered down a path. Anne turned her head around one last time to take in one last look at the game. She took a deep breath and thought about the "worst one" and how his parents must have felt. She wondered if she would support a child like that someday and looked down at her younger sister. She smiled and grabbed her hand as they left the park and started for home.

The Charm of a First Date at a Chain Restaurant in Midtown

Jack sat across from Karen. A candle sat between their faces. Karen suddenly laughed and said "no fair". Then she said, "I don't have a group picture with me in it from High School to show you".

Jack said, "just guess which one I am".

"Well, it's hard because you've lost so much hair".

"Ouch," Jack said, "that hurts a little".

They both laughed at this. After a minute she finally pointed to a lanky pale boy in the back row of the photograph.

"You? This is you?"

"Nope"

"It's got to be! You look exactly the same!"

"But it's not. Trust me"

"Um....ok. This one?", she pointed at another pasty and tall child.

"Guess again"

"Oh, jesus. I give up. Which one are you?"

Jack laughed and pointed at a small boy with freckles in the bottom left hand corner.

"This is you?!"

Karen laughed and said "but you're so tiny".

"It was before I hit my growth spurt"

"You jerk. You tricked me"

They both smiled and then sat in silence for a time. Karen's mind began to wander to the romantic and a thought hit her.

"What about girlfriends? Did you have yourself a High School sweetheart?"

"I did. But things didn't work out"

"Why? What went wrong?"

"We just didn't fit well. It was like oil and water. What about you? Any boyfriends? Captain of the football team? Homecoming king?"

Karen laughed and said, "more like assistant director of the audio visual club".

Jack responded with a short, blunt chuckle and said "well, what happened with him?"

"Same deal...only it was more like electricity and water".

The waiter interrupted their laughter to bring them their check. Jack excused himself and used the restroom. Karen waited and stared out the window overlooking a busy corner. Her mind wandered and she imagined playing on the beach as a kid with her Sister. She thought about what it would be like to go swimming with Jack and what his body would look like in swim trunks. She closed her eyes and thought about this for a spell.

The Part of the Brain That Makes Something Out of Nothing

"What is this?"
She pointed at a little lump on her hip.

"This right here?"
He felt the spot for a second or two.

"Yes"
She guided his hand to the exact spot of the lump.

"That's probably nothing"
He let his hands drop to his side.

"Probably?"
She tensed up a little and her shoulders tightened.

"It's hard to say for sure. We can take a blood test"
He gently put his hand on her back.

"A blood test?"
She let out a deep breath.